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January 30, 2012
The premiere of the film director Steve McQueen "Shame" has brought the issue of sex addiction to the mat. At the age of 27 years, comedian Jeff Leach has slept with more than 300 women and wants to face his problem.
I am a womanizer and, quite frankly, very successfully, I have to sleep with more than 10 women in a week. But now I plan to change.
I want to see if I can maintain a committed relationship. I need to find what I was wrong.
See every woman as a potential sexual affair makes me tired, makes me feel miserable, empty, superficial and ultimately very lonely.
Now that I am approximately 30 years, my friends are settling down and I realize I can not go on forever. It is said that the average British man has had 13 couples and women only seven. I'm well above that level.
I understand that my attitude towards sex is not normal. Having conquered most of the problematic aspects of my existence within my addictive nature, my crazy with drink and drugs, this seems to be the last obstacle in my career.
I do not want to die alone and want to be a father. I talked to my ex-lover, trying to understand why I can not be a man of one wife.
Sleeping with more than 300 women meant many phone calls, emails and Facebook and Twitter. Girlfriends, ex-lover and one-night exaventuras responded with positive messages of support and a genuine desire to help me in my journey.
My ex-girlfriend Nicola called me selfish. "You were very selfish," he said. "You made me feel uncomfortable in many occasions."
Claire, with whom I had my longest relationship, told me that he was always afraid to be hurt.
"I did not think you'd be able to be a good boyfriend. I did not want to be in a relationship with you. I did not think I could satisfy you as bride and keep your attention. In addition, fool me, destroy me," said Claire.
That was annoying. How many opportunities like that I had in the past, where women preferred to get away to protect themselves?.
Another ex-girlfriend, also called Clare said he never showed me vulnerable. I have fear of being hurt as with my first love, but how do I allow myself to be vulnerable?
What is sex addiction?
Sex therapists argue that it is a real addiction with serious consequences
But others in the field of psychiatry and psychotherapy are saying that is not comparable with addiction to substances and should not be classified as such.
Addiction can start watching pornography on the Internet for a few hours a day and climb from there
"It's a way to escape from low self-esteem and feelings of anger and insecurity," says sex and relationship counselor Paula Hall. "It's not really about sex. It is driven by shame"
By limiting my time with individual fans, seeing a girl one night, making you feel that was everything to me and then stop seeing her for two or three weeks, let me distance myself.
When I went to see Paula Hall, a sexual and relationship psychotherapist, I explained the symptoms.
"Sex addiction is any sexual behavior that feels out of control. If you act in a sexual manner and did not really know what you're getting out of it, why you're doing, they often regret what you did but what you keep doing , then you're probably an addict. "
"You must learn to love and live in your own company."
I remember being very happy child with my family, going on vacation, my father's shoulders and a good relationship between my parents. But then, when I was seven or eight years, I only remember seeing them argue.
I wonder if there is an element in me that thinks, "I saw how miserable they can be some relationships and not want to go through that."
A letter from your therapist suggests that the problems began when Jeff was eight.
Hall believes that much of my sexual behavior could be really "regulation of privacy."
"You use it to keep you out of a relationship. By having multiple relationships constantly, you're not putting all your eggs in one basket," Hall thinks.
"I suspect that at the root of your addiction is that little boy who has not expressed his feelings and needs. You will continue to drown your fears with alcohol, drugs or sex until you face."
What I'm learning is that the lifestyle I have been carrying has a limited life. I want women to recognize my sexuality but I think my adventurous nature does not imply that it is a decent, capable of loving and being loved.
I realized that to not be happy with myself and loves me, this is not possible, so I'm going to get.
Michael Fassbender stars in "Shame", a new movie about sex addiction.
Proved much more difficult than I thought. Deepening children's issues with a psychotherapist and allow plenty of abandoned former partners point out where I was wrong certainly depressed me a lot.
But the process has given me a new lease on life regarding my control over my sexual desires and renewed friendships established with women.
I'm on a journey of understanding as to why I am as I am and why I feel the unusual experiment as an addict desires.
I may never be cured of my illness, and believe me it's a disease, but now I can look in the mirror and know that I have the courage to try to improve my situation.
Publicado por Nadir Sosa en 2:05:00 AM